Nothing But A Blood Stain
by The Umbrella Man
Summary: Mr. Darrel Curtis was a wild man, a fun guy, and a great father to Ponyboy, Sodapop, and Darrel Jr. But he's been hiding a secret. "It was a mistake, I swear!"   With his death and another's, the remaining Curtis brothers meet a stranger.
1. Chapter 1 : The Visitor

**Nothing But A Blood Stain**

**Chapter One**

**The Visitor**

_Authors's Note:_

_I don't own anything. All rights to the Outsiders goes to S.E. Hinton. Oh, and I know that Darry shares his middle name with his father but I had it changed it so I could distinguish the two._

* * *

After waking up, I ran near the kitchen to get something to eat but then heard the door bell rang so I just grabbed a Pepsi and sauntered over to the door with my little brother.

We looked out the window and saw who was out there. We exchanged looks of confusion, this was someone that we both have never seen before so who was it?

He wasn't tall but not really short, probably a little over 5 and a half feet. He had a slight build to him and was close to my little brother's size, except this boy was just a little taller and leaner than him. He had light brown hair that was a little shorter than mine. And it was flat and was combed off to the side with grease whatsoever. His eyes were green and on he held an uncomfortable and unsure gaze on his face as if he was looking for someone or something.

He was dressed in some pretty tuff clothes; nice dark pants and cool blue shirt with a white sweater. He didn't dress like anyone around here. His clothes looked like they were pretty expensive; to us at least, but he didn't seem like a Soc to me.

I did notice a ring in the boy's hand. I wasn't too sure if it was a diamond or one of the fake kind, but it looked like it was real to me. For a while there, Ponyboy was staring at it.

I felt uneasy around him, and I noticed the suspicious almost dangerous look to his face.

It may have been a bad idea, but we opened the door to greet him. Funny, all three of us had confused expression that matched.

"Hello?" I finally asked.

He looked at us back as if he weren't expecting to see us and then glanced to his sides. He looked back at this piece of paper he held in front of him like at a map, or something. He had a big back pack with him and like a suitcase, I didn't like where this was going.

I looked closer at him...But this guy looked like he was 15 years old or something.

_What does he want? To sell us something?_ Somehow, I knew that wasn't the case.

By now my older brother came trudging down to the door and looked at our visitor similar to how we did to him.

"Can we help you, sir?" He was real polite when it came to strangers that didn't strike him quite as dangerous. When he took notice of all the luggage the boy carried, he looked real suspiciously at him.

"Uh, yeah," his voice was either half-hearted or without conviction, I really couldn't tell which.

"I'm looking for a man named Darrel Phillip Curtis."

My brother's and I all exchanged looks of shock. They didn't last long but we all looked back at him without answering. Again, he looked at us in that held a perplexed expression. But it seemed like he really didn't expect us to help him out at all.

_What does he want with Dad? Why would he be looking for him when died over a year ago?_

I looked back at my little brother; he wasn't just shocked, he looked mortified. I remember our parents funeral…I remember him bawling his eyes out the day before…I did too. Though Dare seemed to take it better, none of us ever wanted to be reminded of their deaths. I remember how hard it was for him; for a while he would get a real sad look on his face whenever he saw me and Dare. Why? Because we were so much like them. But why wouldn't we be, right? They're our parents.

Johnny and Dally's death didn't help with that either. They didn't have funerals, big surprise there. But it was good thing because a funeral would only make it harder for us. And besides, even if Johnny had a funeral, we probably - no definitely wouldn't get invited. If he did have a funeral, Two-Bit might've gotten drunk and crashed the party or something of the sort.

There was something eerily familiar about this person. Now that I think about it, his gray eyes really did look an awful lot like Pony's.

"Excuse us, but what's your name?"

"My name?" his eyes trailed off for a while.

"It's **Allen Ray Curtis**."

...

* * *

_Man, if Soda didn't want to come to work today, he could've told me. Or at least called instead of bailing out on me. Without his ass around here I had to work a helluva lot harder, especially since there were so much girls coming in here. They'd go to the gas station and jump out of there cars with a real big grin on their faces, looking for something. It really pisses me off that so much girls go here just to see that boy. Oh well, I guess I should be used to this by now, I mean I've only been his friend for like 6 years right? But it was worst when Soda didn't come to work and I did - their grins would fade away and they'd usually leave without even doing anything._

_What the hell? This is a fuckin' gas station, not somewhere you can go to just flirt._

_Damn the boss man was **smart **for **hiring me and Soda**, he knew Soda wouldn't really want to work here if I didn't and he knew I was probably one of the best young mechanics he could find. He also saw the effect Soda had on here, before he hired us he was so going outta business - we saved his butt. But at least he wasn't so bad, generally a nice guy, but still, that was **real **slick of him._

So I guess I felt a bit better right before leaving. Not too long ago, I met quite a few girls and did my fair share of flirting. Needless to say, two of these girls weren't the best of friends and started arguing.

There would have been nothing worse than for them to be fighting over me just because Soda wasn't here; but I've never seen these girls before. A lot of girls who go here don't stop by just once, they'll come over here more and more times. Other girls will catch on and will be like (why does she go there all the time?) So with more girl customers, comes with even more. I guess I should be happy about that, he is my friend after all, but sometimes it was just plain ridiculous.

Anyway, these girls started making a stupid fuss over me. I didn't care so much because I didn't like either of them all that much. I'm all for watching girls fight over something really stupid, like a boy, but when they started pullin' their claws out, then I'm like, "_fuck_ this _shit"_.

I drove home from work, well not my home but it may as well be.

I opened the door and went into the living room. I saw a random kid sitting in the sofa, not doing anything.

_Who the hell is that!_

He looked kinda like Baby Curtis in age, size, and general appearance. He had lazy look about his face and hair that a greaser could have, only there wasn't a drop of grease in it. But his clothes, they looked like they were something a Soc would wear. Already I felt like was gonna really hate this kid. But for some reason I didn't bother say anything. Now I felt a cold wave about in the air, it made me feel sick.

And there, across the room was Ponyboy who seemed to be deeply engrossed in a book. Knowing I'd make some remark about how pale the kid was right now, he got up and left. Though not without shooting me a glare that so clearly stated the words: W_hat do you want, Steve? I don't have time to deal with you._

I would've hit the kid square in the cheek if Soda didn't catch my hand. (_Damn that kid's lucky_.) I was about holler at Soda when I saw his face, but…He had an expression that I've never seen from him. I had no anger or hatred, it was however grave and filled with anxiety.

Before I could say anything, he said, "Steve…We need to talk."

He led us into the kitchen and in a hushed voice I said, "What the hell, man? Why didn't you go to work? What's wrong with the kid and who the hell is that in the living room?"

He didn't respond for the longest time and it was starting to scare the shit outta me.

I grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eye, "What the hell's going on here, Soda?"

* * *

After seeing Steve, I knew he'd only make things worse. I ran to our room and locked the door. I held that book with me. Soda and Steve probably think that I've been reading but instead, I had a picture of our family when it was still whole.

_Dad…_ I was trembling fiercely.

I remember our dad. _He was nice and smart; he looked so much like Darry but had Soda's charm. He was great at running, football, and loved working on cars, if I remember correctly. I know he and Mom used to read us stories when we were young, and he almost never stopped grinning._

_I remember the time I won my first track run, he was there. The time Darry won the district championship for football, he was there. I remember how proud he was when he heard Soda was trying to get a job (just a few months before he and Mom both died). The distinct way he used to laugh, the look in his eyes. How he could always get everyone laughing; how his joyous resolve never died no matter how hard things could get. He could make you smile no matter what. And he sure was proud of all of us._

_I also remember how he and mom died…I was so horrified; I can only imagine how my face looked like. I remember being in that funeral, and that I was crying the whole night before. But at that day, I was all out, if that was even possible. I couldn't bear the thought of them being gone just like that._

I remember it all, but then why don't remember this? Did mom know before she died? How 'bout Darry? Soda? Did he keep it a secret from all of us? Or did he tell somebody about it? I want to know!

I looked onto the picture, (_Dad…How? ...Why?_) I plead out hoping to God someone would answer.

The silence was deafening...

* * *

"Steve!" He finally responded to me. He looked at me angry and irritated; a look that had never been directed to me by him.

"That kid…" his voice was quiet and low. "He's…" his eyes started to well up and I detected disappointment and disbelief from his voice, though this was not towards me.

"Soda?" I asked out of concern.

"He's…He's our **half brother**…"


	2. Chapter 2 : The Outsider

**Nothing But A Blood Stain**

**Chapter Two**

**The Outsider**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I don't own the Outsiders, all rights goes to S.E. Hinton. Warning: Character(s) may be out-of-character.**

* * *

I looked at my younger brother who was idly playing with his food with a fork. The expression on his face hadn't changed much since our…_brother_ came, still morbid, though he could hide it. That was more than a month ago and he's basically avoiding him like a plague. Though my other brother and _brother_ didn't seem to notice too much, it was plainly obvious to me.

Then again, it would be understandable in his situation when considering the kid himself, the implications here and there. Dad never told us, I'm not gonna say that he was right not to do so, but he may have had good reason as to why. But maybe Dad was gonna tell all of us when he knew that we'd be able to handle it better, but only Mom already knew. Somehow I think she did, so if _both_ our parents weren't gonna tell us then there's _got_ be a reason behind it.

"Hey, c'mon an' eat, kiddo," I finally broke the silence.

He looked around in surprise but calmed down quickly,"Umm…I'm not hungry, Dare." He looked melancholically for his shirt in the living room and soon left the house with his friend up the drive way, wordlessly.

He hasn't been eating much, now. His brother and his _brother_ still ate like pigs, though. It's not like him to do so. He's also been leaving the house sooner only because he doesn't want to see him. He'll work longer hours now or go a friend's house more often than before. At least he always told me where he was, unlike someone else I know.

My other brothers came into the kitchen and I gave them some bacon and eggs; which were devoured in no time. Allen stayed at Pony's old room, not that he was happy about it. He still didn't seem to like Allen so much, but they talked sometimes and they had a few classes together even though Allen was a year ahead. Since Soda's always gone off with his friends and parties, and Pony always walking off and going to the library or the movies, Allen was pretty much left alone in the house.

We could trust that he wasn't gonna do anything there; I know he doesn't have much friends since he's the new guy around. He doesn't know anyone here; no one here knows him; and no one here wants to know him. I'll admit that he still has a shifty feeling around him, but I think he just watches television or goes to sleep once he's done with homework. He doesn't do much.

Two-Bit brings them to school now instead of Soda. I can understand Soda's disdain towards Allen. He doesn't smile so much anymore, I don't hear him and Pony talk that much either. I know they still do but before, it was like every night. They would both talk until they were asleep, but now not so much anymore.

Soda's not himself ever since then, I know he'll try to hide it from us but even Steve told me something's up with him. I wonder what's going on in his mind about the whole thing. What does he really think of him?

I guess I should be more upset about this, but if I did, then what about Allen. Allen hasn't done anything wrong himself. It's understandable that he would resent him simply because; but it's not fair to Allen. If I were mad at him then both Soda and Pony would have a good excuse to hate him even more. As much as I wish he weren't, he still is our half-brother and nothing's gonna change that. That's also not fair to him. I'm not saying that I like him, but he's family regardless. And I'm not gonna refuse a home to any of my family members. Besides, there's not so much of us Curtises left out there.

I wonder how Allen dealt with it all; ya'know, about his very existence. The fact that he was technically never supposed to have been born in the first place. Him, having to live without a father and never knowing who he really is. And him just him being here, not only seeing us, but all of our pictures too, and must remind him it all. Pictures of when both mom and dad were alive, that is. Even though he lives with us, we basically exclude him in our lives. He doesn't like eating with us (though the same could be said the other way around), and I doubt he's ever gone to DX. I know that Steve hates him a lot, but that's not no surprise at all.

...That must suck.

I'm glad none of us had to deal with that, I know it sounds wrong and it is. But I really wonder how we'd do.

In any case, one of them has to tell Allen about tomorrow. But that's their decision, maybe Soda doesn't want him to be there so he might not say anything.

* * *

A pretty red-head girl walked up to me in school today. "Hey there, my name's Cherry." She had a very wide grin, probably the first directed at me since I got here.

I think that was the first time I really smiled since I got here too. "Hello Cherry, my name's Allen..." (Oh that's right) "_Sanders_, my name is _Allen Sanders_."

"Okay, Allen. It's nice meeting you." She looked around the classroom, still smiling. "Are you a friend of Ponyboy?"

(_Hell no_!) "Umm..." I didn't want her to worry or anything. She was Ponyboy's friend and even if he doesn't like me, at least he's trying. Which is more than I can say for someone else.

As of now, no one knows I'm their _brother_. I don't think any of them has told anyone and I certainly haven't. To be honest, it was probably for the best. I may not know so much about them, but I know the last thing they want is pity. And like it or not, they are my brothers. I want to be able help them some how, I really do.

"Yeah, I was staying here for the summer but my parents had to keep me here. I don't know why I didn't just go back to California, but they're always so busy."

I shrugged as her grin turned into a curious one, "So, how do you know Ponyboy?"

I thought about it for a good amount of time even before having a conversation like this to anyone. "Well, my parents are good friends of theirs', and I'm staying at their house for the year."

She looked worried, but not for me. Financially speaking, _we_ aren't doing so well. To them, it seemed like money was always tight and was bad enough without me. Damn I feel so bad about it. It makes me feel even worse knowing I can't really help them. Why? 'Cause I don't really have any talents; not ones that would matter, at least.

"My parents are paying for my bills, though," I lied, I'm fine with that.

She smiled lightly and looked at the clock. Class was about to start, "Allen, me and some of my friends are gonna come and watch a movie, tomorrow. Do you want to come? We'll be at this place called the Nightly Double." (Why don't you ask Ponyboy?) I thought but when I said it, it sounded _much less bitter._

"Sure, I'll come by if I can."

* * *

"Soda," I came up to my best friend with some shitty news.

"Not now, Steve," he was currently pre-occupied with a pretty girl with auburn hair and eyes to match.

A spark lit inside me and my eyes narrowed, "Soda, I need to talk to you, now!" I forcibly pulled him away from the girl; both of their faces paralleled in disdain. I brought him far enough that no one could here us; he was real pissed at me for that. But he's been flirting with even more girls than before. And it was more than a lot then, now it's like he never stops. He says he's also going out for more parties and shit like that which really pisses me off. I know Soda, I know that he loves a good party, but he gets tired of them pretty quickly; he wasn't really a party-type person in that sense.

"What, Steve!" his eyes were ablaze.

_(Since when did he care for any of those dumb broads around here?)_

I didn't like his new attitude so much at all, but I needed to tell him something, now.

"Look man, I don't know any other way of telling you this but," I looked at him, he crossed his arms and his face was grim. He obviously didn't believe that I had anything important to tell him which only worsened my mood.

"Get it over with Steve." I grimaced at my buddy.

"I hear the Boss Man's gonna let you go."

His eyes rushed at me like gun shots. "_**What?**_"

He was furious now, I don't think I've ever since him like this. "Why would he do that, if it weren't for me; he'd be outta business right now!"

(_**Just you**? ...__Alright, Soda!) _"Man, what the hell's up with you?" He looked incredulously at me. I winced a little, "Besides, you wouldn't have to worry about it if you actually did your job."

He erupted at me, "What is that supposed to mean?" I scowled back at him, "_As if you didn't already know_."

That got him really pissed and he knocked me down. I wasn't gonna take that from anybody, not even from Soda, so I punched him back and tackled him into the ground. And we both went on fighting and hollering off at each other.

...

Finally I had enough, I said trying to be apologetic, "I'm serious, Soda. What the hell's up?" but I couldn't help but glare intensely at him.

_Soda's just not the same person. He's not the Soda I know, the one that was my best friend for more than half of my whole life. The one whose eyes laughed with recklessness, the one who could always leave you grinning, no matter what. The one who was without a care in the world and lived life to the fullest._

_**That Sodapop Patrick Curtis, not this one**.** ...This one...****Just who the hell is he?**_

**_Whoever he is, I don't know him..._**

He didn't so much as respond. Instead he gave me his hatred, utterly marring that handsome face of his. Something I've never seen from him before, not even to the Socs when they nearly killed off Ponyboy. Soda didn't hate anybody, that's just not him, right?

I hated that feeling, and it felt like it was eating away at my soul.

_Oh Shit! I finally remembered. Damn, I can't believe I just did that! Today...It's early in October. I can't believe I forgot!_

Finally sensing my disposition, he stopped his glare and looked real sorry too. I think he forgot too. "Look man, I'm sorry-" he cut me off as if he wasn't really listening to me much, "Nah, I'm sorry. I just...don't know anything anymore..." He stopped there, it was probably too painful to go any further.

"Hey, c'mon. I'll drive you home, buddy." Not a word left his mouth, he was shaking a little until I put my hand on his shoulder. A quiet, "Thanks," was all he could muster.

Damn this day must've sucked for him. It had to be on this day, too. And I wish I got him something better, but it'll do. Soda never actually got one simply because he always refused to use it like Pony did. But now, I know the both of them are not afraid to use it...

The Boss Man better not fire him, especially not on this day when tomorrow is...

* * *

One day later...

_(I hate this day, I want it to end.)_

I stormed out of the house as quickly as I could, Ponyboy ran after me and caught up pretty easily. (Damn, my_brother's_fast.) I was tackled onto the ground.

"Where are you going, _Allen_?" I pushed him off of me, ignoring the fact that he actually looked like he cared. "Why do you care anyway? Just leave me alone, Ponyboy!"

He got mad at me now, "Why do I care?" he was hysterical. "Because you're my brother! That's why!" he hollered off at me.

I looked away and softly said, "Am I, Ponyboy? Am I really?" I looked at him gravely and he froze up, only making me more riled up. "Does this mean that you approve of what your - our _dad did_?" He stared at me blankly...Speechless...

"That's what I thought..." I left there, quietly stomping on the ground with my head hung low. "Hey, Allen..." I stopped but didn't looked back at my _brother_. "I don't care...I want you to be there at _my_ birthday...Our family wouldn't be whole without you..."

(_...Thanks, Ponyboy.._.)

"Whatever..." was all I said. I then left and this time he didn't go after me.

It's not like I wasn't coming back...

* * *

I was headed towards this place called the Nightly Double. Maybe I could find Cherry, if it's not too late right now. I asked this guy in a leather jacket where it was, all he did was look at me funny. Taking special notice to my hair and shirt. I was wearing a blue madras shirt, Darry really didn't like me wearing it so much, but I wore today anyway. My hair was pretty long, almost as long as my _brother's _I didn't like having any of that hair oil on it.

He seemed really confused, I don't know why. In the end, he told me where to find it, but I he seemed like he really didn't want to say anything to me.

It was a long way there, and I couldn't help but think back at _my family._

_..._

**They hate me. They all do. That goes without saying.**

Ponyboy, Darrel, definitely Steve, but especially Sodapop. When I heard that the last remnants of my family were impoverished and lived in a run-down neighborhood at the poor side of a city, I wasn't too excited, to say the least. What did I expect? Much worse; I never thought people like them could be like this. Even though their parents are dead, they are still very much a family. I didn't know families could get so close, especially not a family like this.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised at all. I mean, from the way they reacted when I told them, they were obviously very close to their – our parents.

...I miss my old friends...

"Hey Allen! I'm so glad you made it." Cherry smiled at me and I returned the favor. She looked behind me, "Where's Ponyboy?"

I tried looking concerned, "I don't know." (_And I really don't care_.)

I introduced myself to Cherry's friends and they did the same for me. We all sat down to watch the movie...

Paying almost no attention to the movie, I couldn't help but keep thinking about _them_...

_(_I'm not a part of their family anyway...That much I know is true. I remember the moment I stepped into room. They were all laughing and having a great time at Sodapop's birthday party. Strange...I wasn't told anything about it.

And then they all see me...Eyes dull, smiles drop, the laughter dies, and the mood is forever tainted...I know when I'm not wanted; since I got here, that's all the time. This time's no different, in that sense.

...I don't get them. And they just don't dig me at all...

**I'm supposed to be their brother, right?** **Then why do I feel like such an Outsider**?


	3. Chapter 3 : The Name

**Nothing But A Blood Stain**

**Chapter Three**

**The Name**

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_I don't own anything, all rights to the Outsiders belongs to S.E. Hinton_

* * *

_Don't cry, dammit! Don't cry..._ I barely managed to follow my own command. They say death is a horrible thing and that you can't stop it... _But w__e knew it'd happen eventually. _I didn't think it would've be like this... Blood coated floor around me and all I could do was the very thing I was told time and time never to do...No matter what the circumstances. The only sound I could hear was the silent, vexing laughter that echoed endlessly in my head as I began to fade out, engulfed in my own blood.

_No one was here, no one could help, no one would help..._

_So...Is this it?_

...

* * *

**Days ago...**

(Hmm...So this is the place?) I stood in front of a house I've never been too and looked back at the paper I held in my hands. It said this was the right place.

It was hard for me to digest the fact that if that this was in fact the place I was looking for, I'd be staying there for months or even years.

Now that mom's gone...

God I wonder how or even if he will take me in. This place seems like a dump as it is, me being here isn't gonna help anyone. But it's not like there's anywhere else I can go to. Well it's not like Mom's place was much better; it was, just not that much, really.

(I wonder...Mom and Dad must've divorced when I was young so maybe I have a brother or a sister even. I've never had one of those, I wonder what'd be like if I did. It'd probably be pretty sweet to be the eldest, but I dunno.

I'm pretty sure I do have siblings, though.)

All I had with me was a backpack and small suitcase with some clothes and close belongings of mine, everything else is more or less gone.

I grabbed the door knob and turned it. (The door's unlocked? Well then again, the gate was open too.) But I froze up and couldn't bring myself to open the door, not yet. (This neighborhood...If I did have siblings, would they like be hoods or something?) I looked to the back of me and it was safe to say, 'It wasn't pretty'.

There was large streaks and what looked like dried up pools of an ugly shade of reddish-brown sparsely scattered across on the neighborhood sidewalks. It bothered me a whole lot, I didn't understand why because were nothing but blood stains. (But why were they there.) I could only imagine...

(And besides, I wonder what Dad's even like, anyway? He left and Mom once, so why wouldn't he again...

And if he's anything like Mom, then...) I shuddered and a sour expression was left on my face. And began to think up the worst things I could.

(If they are hoods, then I'm not taking my chances. If they see me inside without ringing the door bell, they'll probably think I'm out to rob them or something, and take out a gun or knife a kill me on the spot.) So all I did was ring the door bell and waited.

...

The door opened, and I tensed up to see some slick, tough guys with cold-eyes and a switchblade in their hands. Or even worse: a dirty girl, with ten layers of make up and skirts or pants that were just way to short. My stomach was in knots. (Either way, whomever it will be, I'm not gonna let them know that, I'd never ever give them that pleasure.)

...

(Huh?) Two boys answered the door. One who was shorter and probably around 15 years old. He had long, brown hair that was even longer than mine, it looked unnaturally thick or heavy. He actually looked a little like me, only I was like two inches taller. The other man who was taller, he had blondish hair that was long too. But he didn't look a thing like me, he seemed to me more like one of those pretty boys.

Well, they're certainly not what I expected to see. They didn't look like hoods, except the younger one kinda had a suspicious look to his eyes, which were grayish like mine. Well I guess I had that look in my eyes too, now that I think about it.

They both looked confused, I probably did too. Something I couldn't possibly hide.

"Hello," the taller one finally asked. (Am I really in the right place, here?)

...

(Holy shit!) There was another, taller and bigger man who came up to me. (I swear to God, I've seen him before! But who is he?) But I kept calm, or least tried to. I was more confused than ever, actually.

"Can we help you, sir?" his voice was low.

"Um, yeah," I swear to God, I was so out of it right now. But there was no way I'd let them know that.

"I'm looking for a man named Darrel Phillip Curtis." They all looked at me as if I were crazy and the youngest one looked like he was in a total state of shock. They exchanged looks of confusion and looked back onto me.

"Excuse us kid, but what's your name?"

"My name?" my thoughts trailed off a little while.

_"It's Allen Ray Curtis."_

* * *

**Days later...**

"So Allen, did you like the movie?" I barely noticed Cherry talking to me, I barely even noticed that the movie was finished. "Huh? What?"

"Allen, are you okay? Is something bothering you?" she gave me a serious look. "No I'm fine."

"...Okay that's a serious lie, Allen. I can tell something's off with you." The thought must've hit her then. "It has something to do with Ponyboy, doesn't it?"

My smile faded just a little. (What? How can she tell?)

"Did you guys have like a fight or something?" she looked really worried.

(Damn she's good.) "...Something like that. Cherry, it's nothing, really." I tried reassuring her, but she looked a little angrily at me.

"Why?"

...

* * *

What was the time again? I think it was about 9 : 30 P.M. or so. For some reason, Cherry would only drop me off at a neighborhood that was like 6 blocks from the house. Not really a long walk at all.

I tried wasting time just walking around the town, I went and saw some people around here but a lot of them just looked at me weirdly. I dunno.

Some had dirty, worn out clothes, usually a leather jacket or just a T-shirt with jeans that were probably torn slightly. They didn't wear the same clothes I did, and they also had an odd gaze when they looked at my hair. They didn't like talking to me so much and the same could definitely be said vice versa; I hesitated to approach most of them.

Some of them had nice clothes, certainly better than mine, but they all had short hair. And they always stared at mine when I tried talking to them, they seemed to be bothered by mine being long for some reason. My _brothers_ have it long, hell even longer, but I didn't see anyone give them weird looks like that. Not that I've seen.

(What's with this town and all it's people?) Even if the neighborhoods here were pretty bad, I haven't really seen a lot of, I dunno, fights here.

Okay, so I guess they weren't all so bad, but still. It's weird here.

I would've gotten home sooner if I hadn't gotten lost down town after Cherry dropped me off, but it's not like I was in any hurry or anything. It was getting pretty dark so I couldn't even see some of the street signs, so I held up my lighter so that I could see the words and try head towards my _brothers_' house, wherever it was.

* * *

I went to the park just to lie my head down and think.

...

I sighed to myself. (Today...It's October 8th, right?...) Then a question came back into my head, one that I still hadn't been able to answer since I got here.

(Darrel Curtis...Where have I heard that name before? It was a long, long time ago, I think.)

...

The cool autumn breeze that pervaded the park was accompanied by it's serenity. Or at least it was, I saw three people walking towards the park, or more specifically, me. One was short, young, and had curly black hair and had a curious look to his eyes.

"Hey, ya'know you're outta territory, right?" the youngest one said. "And what's a Soc like you doing all the way out here?" they seemed moderately irritated at my presence. The same was true vice versa, only to a much greater extent. They looked like real hoods, cut up jeans, blood-stained white T-shirts, tattoos and leather jackets.

The only words in my mind were: _oh shit! I gotta get outta here, now!_

But I made no moves, I'd never let them know. No matter what happens here. None.

"What's a Soc? And why the hell are you calling me one?" I really didn't know.

They all laughed little and exchanged looks as if I were insane or something. "I'm sorry buddy, did you get hit on the head or something?"

(No, well not recently.)

He smiled coolly, and then laughed meekly, "How the hell can you **not** know?" All I did was grimace at them, not saying a word.

"Give it up, Curly, it's obvious this Soc dun know nothin'." One of the older two, behind him added.

"Yeah. I'd say it's high time this boy learns his place here." They all laughed lightly.

"Finally!"

"I know right, we haven't had any action since the time the Curtis kid killed that Soc, months ago."

(...Wait! What?) Curtis kid?

"Do you mean Ponyboy?" I finally asked, never letting up my guard.

"Yeah," the one called Curly, answered. "Damn, I didn't think the guy had it in him, but I guess life never stops giving out surprises."

(And you're telling me...)

I backed up, but only just a little. Their faces became serious and walked closer: _slowly, silently, smiling_...

"Hey!" another, more familiar man, ran up to the park with his eyes dead set to kill.

"Matthews, what're you doin' here?" The guy looked wide-eyed at the knives that the hoods in front of me held.

"Hey Shepard, don't you lay damn finger on that boy," his hands held his knees as he tried to catch a breath.

The kid was surprised, to say the least. The guy walked up closer to the kid and stopped, still panting heavily. "And why the hell not?"

He pulled out a switchblade himself and his eyes were now set ablaze. "Because..." He faced me with menacing gaze, "You're blood is mine!"

(...)

"You'd better get yer' ass outta here, if ya' know what's good fer you."

In my head, I instantly assessed the situation...

_I counted four of them. All cold and tough degenerates, dead set on the intent of killing me... How lovely... _By now, sweat was running down the sides of my head. I could feel my ears burning up, really fast. (Thank God for my long hair, you couldn't see it very well.) It felt like the earth shook synchronized to the irregular rhythm of my heartbeat. And my stomach was tied in ten knots over.

I wanted out, so bad. (_But..._) I looked back at them as they all edged closer, the one referred to as 'Matthews', especially. He was the same person who brought me and my brother to school everyday...

_I knew it...They hate me...I always knew it...They're all the same: Ponyboy, Steve, Sodapop, and even him. A murderer and drug addict, a hot-head, and high-school droupout... But why? Because I was nothing to them...**Nothing but a blood stain**._On the inside, I was shouting my heart out.

_No...Not again, I won't let anybody take that chance, **not again** dammit!_

...

I dashed outta there. I heard a gun shot go off, but no sound afterwards. I dunno what it meant, but I didn't care nor did I have plans to stick around and find out.

Who knows how long I was running. Then, all I knew was that I wasn't gonna let them go anywhere near them. And I stopped at a neighborhood that really wasn't any better than my _brothers_'. I was completely out of breath, if I kept going, I would have passed out, sooner or later.

A dark figure loomed over me, one who was barely distinguishable by the countless number of broken streetlights. It was the same guy from before, he was alone.

I couldn't see his face at all...He let out his hand towards me. "Hey man, you okay?" I eyed him crazily, "Hell no! Get the fuck away from me!" I barely managed to get back on my feet after swiping his hand away from. But I only stumbled back into the ground.

"Seriously, Allen." He let his hand out again.

I yelped out the words, "You tried to kill me!" _I said some more than that, but..._

I glared daggers back at him and he looked he couldn't help but cock his eyebrows and form a guilty grin.

"About that..." he laughed a little to himself. "Well, that may have been,,,oh what's the word? Unnecessary. But honestly, I didn't know any other way to get them off your back, ya'know?"

...

I looked away, it was my turn to redden with guilt...

* * *

_Damn I felt so bad about the whole thing. All this guy's been trying to do was help and I said all those things. So here am I, at his own house. Luckily, I happened to stop at his very neighborhood._

He yelled the words, "Hey Mom!" with a cheesy grin. "Oh, hey Keith." She looked back at me, and cocked her eyebrows just like her son. "Is that a friend of yours?" The guy opened up the fridge and scanned it rigorously, or it seemed like it.

"Yeah," he answered casually.

(_Friend_?)

His mother walked up closer to me, "Oh and what's your name?" She had a wide grin on.

It took me a while to figure out who she was talking to, "Umm...It's Allen..."

"Oh Allen, are you new here because I haven't seen around here before?"

"Yeah." Her smiled kept being warm, never letting up.

"Okay, well I hope you like it here Tulsa." She looked back at her son, who was now scarfing down a big sandwich with ham, cheese, egg, and bacon. "Keith, please go to bed early today, I've got to work tomorrow."

"Sure Mom, I'll be sure to tell Cathy when she comes over, that you want us to go to bed early, m'kay?" She looked suspiciously at him but said nothing of it, she probably thought he was joking. As for me, I couldn't be certain.

"Allen, don't you have a place to go?" Her words weren't stingy or anything, just curious.

"Uh..." I began to say something, but wasn't too sure what to say.

"Actually, " Two-Bit cut me off. "That's why he's here," Keith's mom looked back at him annoyed, to say the least. His face became a serious one and his eyes motioned his mom to go ahead and sleep already. I wonder what was going through the woman's head right then. But she followed as her son had suggest, and left to her bedroom... _Oh I knew what was coming._

* * *

When I entered the house, a man with curly, brown hair approached me, I swear I caught a fleeting smile. "Hey, kid." It was Steve, he looked as if it were painful to talk to me right now. "Ya' know, we're all real sorry we..."

(I'm sure you are...Besides, it's not you who should be apologizing in the first place.) I glared back at him. (You're words mean nothing to me.) The guy did actually look sorry, though. I guess he should be. But I don't need their pity.

"Thanks," I hid my actual gratitude within my own sarcasm. He grimaced which made me feel pretty low.

"Really, but it's not you who should be sorry." I was solemn and went straight to Pony's, I mean my room. I jumped into the bed and hid under the sheets. Thoughts and memories were roaring insatiably inside my head, never giving me a chance to rest. _So I closed my eyes and begged for peace..._

My wish came true, but only for just a moment. The door opened. "Hey Allen," judging by the voice, I could tell it was my eldest brother, Darrel.

"You okay, little buddy?" Darrell never called me 'little buddy', ever.

"Gee Darrel, what do you think?" my voice was stained with bitterness, I lifted my head up and glanced at him. He waited so I'd calm down a little.

"Look Allen, you-" "Oh save it, Two-Bit already gave me the whole dang lecture." Now that surprised him, hell it surprised me too. But it was true, and he did a damn good job of making me feel bad along the way.

_"Two-Bit..." I looked melancholic at him. He was the one who shot the gun. He threaten the others with his life that he'd shoot them, should they go after me and him... I would've never thought of that, and there's no doubt I wouldn't have gotten away without his help._

_"Why are you acting so nice to me." All he did was cock his eyebrows and laughed facing away and then looked back at me again. "Because, Allen..." his voice was clear and earnest._

_(__I don't get it...And this is the same guy who plays with his lighter and takes stuff from stores for kicks? The same guy who cracks a joke to the police whenever he gets the chance?) I could hardly believe it myself._

_"The Curtises, they're really like family to me. And that makes you a part of mine too."_

_..._

"Well then, good night Allen," my _brother _was getting ready to leave the room and close the door. "Wait! Darrel" he winced a little. I could tell he still wasn't used to being called Darrel to a lot of people outside of like work or school when he still went there. But I would never call him Darry. I just don't think I have the right.

"Our father..." he looked at me curiously. "_Did he miss Sodapop's 9th birthday?_" Silence was then invited back into the house and for the longest time, my eldest _brother_ stood motionlessly by the door.

"Yeah, he did..." Now it was my turn to be silent. I looked away from him and towards the wall, troubled.

"Why?" I imagined him asking the words in a much more accusing tone, 'And how do you know?' But he didn't, which surprised me as well.

"...It doesn't matter, Darrel. Honest." My _brother_ agreed wordlessly and left the room, but not without his doubts.

...

**_(Mr. Darrel Curtis...Where have I heard that name before?)_**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Okay, I know Mr. Curtis' middle name should be Shayne, but I needed some way to distinguish him from his son.


	4. Chapter 4 : The Memory

**Nothing But A Blood Stain**

**Chapter Four**

**The Memory**

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_I don't own anything, all rights to the Outsiders goes to S.E. Hinton. Both parts of this chapter are flashbacks but are from different times: Sodapop's occurs a few years before the main timeline with Soda remembering that occurrence, while Allen's occurs eight years before._

* * *

I stared at the grade for the longest time. Darry was out with his friends and I think Ponyboy was asleep in our room.

I don't understand it, I studied, and I tried my best. So why was it only a 78? I could've sworn I got all of them right, but Mrs. Voss thought I was cheating on it. I never did do well, but this time was different. I should've gotten like a 92, but she doesn't believe I did it all by myself...

"Hey there, Pepsi-Cola, what chu' got there?" I looked at him, and then my grade again.

"Dad...How come I'm not smart like Ponyboy or Darry?" He looked at me with great concern.

"Now Soda, don't go comparing yourself with your brothers. You know that everyone's got their ups and downs."

That didn't help at all, "Pony's good at running and Darry's got football. And you've got-"

"Nothing..." He sat there beside me silent for a while.

"Let me see this," I gave it to him. After maybe a minute or so, he said, "Soda, you got a lot of these right, I don't know why you're teacher gave you that grade." I sunk on the inside.

"It's 'cause she doesn't think I can get a good grade like that without cheating." To his discontent, I went on.

"She doesn't believe in me...No one does..."

His face turned sour for a moment, "Soda, that's just not true. We all believe in you: Me, Mom, Darry, and Pony." It was like he was talking to a ghost because his words passed right through me.

"Mom?" (Really?)

"Yeah."

"...Then she has a funny way of showing it." I wasn't lying right then.

"Soda, she's just a little frustrated right now." I looked at him wide-eyed. "But why?" I plead to my father.

His face became stern and I didn't know what he meant by, "It's nothing to do with you Soda, trust me."

"Your mother loves you very much, and you know that."

"Right..."

After a few seconds, my father stood up and smiled slightly, "Soda, get up little buddy." I followed as Dad said and went towards out the house.

He showed me the car, "It's good Darry's out and your Mom's working today." I looked at him confused, "Dad, what do you want to show me?"

He grinned crazily at me, "I wanna to teach you to drive, Pepsi-Cola."

(What!) "But Dad!" why would he want that?

"Soda, I've seen what you can do with a car, I think you could be really good at these kinds of things."

"Dad, what about last time?"

"Now Soda, you're still young and you hadn't even been taught anything then." He grinned back at me. "And how knows, maybe it'll be useful later on, ya'know?"

"But aren't I too young?" I was 12 years-old but tall enough, actually. My father was un-phased.

"Well, it's not like a lot of kids don't break the law and get away with it anyways. Besides, I'm gonna teach you something that's actually useful in life." I was still hesitant, "C'mon Soda, go on." I'd wish he'd stop grinning at me like that.

"But Dad, about last time..." (I can't do anything right...) "I didn't-"

"I know you didn't mean it, Soda. It's okay. C'mon, you're birthday's in a week from now, you'll be thirteen then."

"But what if..."

"Soda," he placed his hand on my shoulder, "**You ain't useless, Soda. ****You can do it, I believe in you.**"

...

I know what Dad was trying to do then... He wanted me to learn something I could actually be good at. He wanted me to be able to do something that I could actually be proud of... Something I never had before he taught me how to drive.

_And Dad...Thanks for that. I really needed it, then and still now._

I let my head rest on Dad's grave, it was almost like I became a statue since I swear I stayed still for hours on end.

_Who am I kidding? Mom and Dad loved me a whole lot, and I loved them too._

I looked at the graves of both my parents, smiling for once...

_I'm sorry I ever doubted you Mom._

_..._

I was alone in the night which was an anniversary of my birth. It wasn't so bad, I got a smoke and counted my days away by the stars in clear nighttime sky. It actually felt kinda nice out here. There was a small fleet of almost wisp-like creatures (fireflies) that formed a ring in the scenery, twisting and circling in an esoteric yet graceful fashion. With me and my buddy, the silence, as the sole audience of the whole spectacle...

I was cold then, but I certainly didn't feel it.

So it probably wasn't such a good idea to be alone in a graveyard, almost outside greaser territory. But oh well, I don't care. In fact, I'd feel awful sorry for the next Soc that comes up to me, especially on this night.

It's not like I'm gonna let Steve's gift go to waste.

* * *

I came back into the small place I reluctantly call home, bruised and scarred. Though it was almost elegant compared to some of the places around here. If it weren't for the few tainted smears and streaks of red here and there, and the lingering ambiance that gave an almost choking sensation, it would actually be almost pleasant here, almost.

I looked and saw the only person I thought I'd ever really see here, getting ready for work. And she was, until a couple months ago, and the night before…

"What's wrong with you Allen?" she had asked with no such thing as pity. Although, I wasn't too sure what I was doing at the moment, "Boy, I told you never to cry here." She walked up close to me with big, wide eyes.

"You are a boy, right?"

I responded weakly, "Yes, Mom…"

She looked at me incredulously, "Really? Because boys don't cry, Allen. And so far, that's the only thing I've seen you do."

…Her words hit me hard. I'll bet a million dollars she hasn't even noticed my bleeding cheek and red-stained T-shirt. But it's not like she'd care, even if she had noticed.

She looked at me, disappointed and fed-up, "And where'd you get that cut?" I placed my hand over my bleeding cheek. The thought of those edged blades, being held down to the wall with nowhere to go, no one to run to, and the blood gushing almost inveterately out my chest and sides, hadn't fully escaped me yet.

"Someone hit me…" I was better now, it would be a lie to say this was the first time it's happened, a big one at that. But now Mom's eyes told me she wanted to slap me unconscious.

"And why didn't you hit them back?" her voice made it sound like she was accusing me of something.

(I did, but that didn't help a bit!) "Because…I…" I think I then started to cry a little more, but I couldn't feel the tears. I just felt so cold right then.

"Ugh, I don't time for this," she got her bag ready and was about to leave the house.

I wanted to say the words, 'but you're a nurse,' but I didn't knowing how she'd respond. With the word, 'So,' and just leave anyway.

She stopped before exiting the house and looked at me, "Your grades, my co-worker said her son got his grades this week." I slowly rummaged through my little, and nearly empty backpack.

My mother scanned the paper quickly with those snake eyes of hers. "That's it? If you can't protect yourself, you could at least be smart!" All I had were mostly C's, except a D in writing and reading.

She tore up the paper in slight rage, "Ya' know, you're father got straight A's, all through high school." She went on to look at me in disgust.

"If you couldn't have his talents or looks, you could at least have his smarts."

(There she goes again. She always told me never to compare myself to others. But she always does to me and her and Dad, whoever he is. How come I can't when she does it all the time?

And besides…It's not like I asked to be who I am.)

I looked at her gravely as she turned around, I was so spelled with anger at this point, I wanted to scream. But I spoke in quiet words, "Yeah, and I bet you didn't do much better." And she didn't, I know, I saw her High School grades. She eyed me so crazily, I felt like jumping out my skin.

"I said to never compare yourself to anybody else!" she knocked me down, and my head hit the wall. I wasn't bleeding, at least I don't think so.

She looked at the clock, "I don't have time for this!" my mother was about to leave, but this time I wouldn't let her. There was something that I needed to say, and this time I was gonna say it whether or not she'd like me to.

"Mom…That man, who was that man that was here, last night?" I saw her fidget in response to my question.

Her face became wry and severe, "Allen, what are you talking about?"

"Mom, you know who it was, I saw you talking to him!" She faced away from and started to shake a little. (Was she crying? I doubt it.)

So I as eight going on to nine, and so I didn't so well at school, but I wasn't stupid, no one could tell me that. Not by a long shot. "It was Dad…" my voice was low and I grew solemn.

But soon enough, I exploded out, "It was Dad, wasn't it!" She wheeled around and smacked me so hard, I almost fell down again. But I don't care then, not one bit.

"Answer me!" I don't know if I was more demanding the out words or pleading for them, the latter was probably more likely of the two. But either way, I certainly got through to my mother.

Her eyes were bloodshot, and her face was hysterical, "Don't you ever talk about that man, again!"

She left slamming the door.

...

(Mom...) The earliest memory I had of her or anything, really... In it, I was two or three and I said something to her. And she responded by smiling and telling me the same the I had just told her... They were the words:

**"I love you."**


	5. Chapter 5 : The Drift

**Nothing But A Blood Stain**

**Chapter Five**

**The Drift**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Disclaimers and such: Y'all know the score by now: I do not own anything. All rights to the Outsiders goes to Susan Hinton. Warning: This chapter is all Darry, some parts will be flashbacks (the first and third breaks), the rest won't.**

* * *

My heart was racing as I dashed towards the goal, with the football clutched within my right arm, and the wind rushing through my heavily greased hair. In doing so, I almost stumbled over and tripped, but I managed to regain my balance soon after.

Even though wasn't a big game like the ones they have over at our high school, I could still feel the rush, the drive, the spark that I'd get from any real game.

Before I knew it, two of my friends were closing in on me real quickly: Paul and and Donald. I then hastened my pace, barely managing to brush the both of them aside as they lunged at me, hoping to at least grab my feet. But I jumped of their reach, and now I was home free, with the rest of the guys hollering off at me to finish the game.

I could barely managed to discern what they were really trying to say. But, I came to an abrupt stop when I heard Paul shout,"Hey Darry! Ain't that your lil' brother driving that car of yours'?"

"What?" I looked around wide-eyed and frantically. At first, I thought that Paul was just joshin' me, it's not like I've never do something similar to him once or twice before. It wasn't rare for one of us to do something like that, we usually didn't mind it so much since these weren't serious games.

I couldn't find them, 'I don't believe it,' I thought to myself. But still, dread seeped up from the back of my mind. I know Paul would never lie about my little brothers like that, he knows how much they mean to me.

I lifted my left hand and hovered it over my head to shade my eyes from the glaring sunlight. Then I spotted them way just coming up at the corner of street. By this time, I'm sure they've been passed by quite a few cars already, stirring a fuss all over our neighborhood.

Almost by instinct, I released the football from my right hand, and wiped the sweat off my forehead. I ran towards the direction they were headed, ignoring the guys yelling behind me.

I could've sworn I heard one of them cheer for my little brothers; I would've socked him right in the gut if I had the chance to.

From what I could tell, Sodapop held the wheel and seemed to keep the car going pretty quickly. Our youngest brother was jumping up and down, or sticking his head out the window during all of this excitement. The little kid was almost screaming at the top of his lungs, much to both of his older brothers' dismay. It seemed like Soda was trying to calm the kid down a little.

I saw another, familiar car coming up slowly from other side of the neighborhood...

Soda was driving mostly in the middle of the street. A small group of cars brushed by them, I could see him turning the wheel, his facing almost screaming out of fear of being hit. Though he was able to figure out was to dodge them somehow. I doubt Soda's ever touched the wheel of a car before, but he didn't seem to have much trouble keeping the car from getting hit.

Although the other cars also got through, mostly unharmed.

As they passed by, it seemed like Soda had left the wheel alone as the car started to swerve to the sides slightly and they started to slow down a little. I couldn't see my youngest brother at the front passenger seat, and Sodapop's eyes weren't on the street.

Through the chaos, two young girls were walking across the street. For the most part, they were unaware of our car heading straight for them. As soon as they noticed, one of the girls froze completely in terror. The other tried to make a dash to the house across the street, but she didn't want to leave her friend behind.

I feared the worst. "SODA!" I bellowed, causing me to heave as my lungs contorted for breath. I almost didn't notice that I had been running after them this whole time.

Thankfully, he did get back on the wheel, almost as if he heard me, although I doubt it. I heard the two girls shriek in terror along with the car's tires coming to a sudden slow. It was as if Sodapop had slammed on the brakes, leaving small, tire burns out on the middle of the street. In order to prevent the car from hitting the two girls, he blindly turned the wheel as much as he could in one direction.

The car didn't hit the two girls, thankfully. But he did hit our neighbor's car, leaving a very noticeable dent. Sodapop did slow the car down soon enough to prevent any serious damage, however. He and Pony were safe, but fear etched their faces, still shaken through it all.

I honestly couldn't believe what just happened. What compelled Soda to take the car for a drive? I finally reached them, even though I was relieved to see them okay, I couldn't help but give them a disgruntled gaze. Their eyes bulged and their bodies quivered, looking real apologetic.

It didn't help that I hollered off at them for all the trouble they've caused. That was probably the first time I ever yelled at them like that. And even then, I got the feeling that they barely listened to a word I was saying.

I sighed. I felt kinda bad, I rarely ever got mad at them, especially Sodapop. But Ponyboy was always doing stuff without thinking straight, he never got in big trouble like this.

So...Why Soda?

Very soon after, another car approached us specifically. I was right, it was Mom and Dad's car after all...

I looked over at my brothers first, then turned my head to see the two young girls. They looked okay, thank God. But one of them kept looking back at us, real worried. Her eyes locked on to my little brother specifically. He looked real sorry apologetically at her but it seemed like the girl wouldn't take it.

They both left real soon after. Their names? Evie and Sandy.

* * *

After that day, I really wondered how much I really knew about my little brothers. Pony was an odd kid. Even though he was real smart, smart enough to skip the 3rd grade. But, he could get so clueless sometimes, and it was even worse when was younger. He liked being with their friend, Johnny. Ponyboy would watch movies with Mom a lot, and he loved to read her parts of the new books he'd get from the elementary school library. Mom adored that, especially since she used to read Pony bedtime stories before he was younger.

Mom had always been proud of that kid, even though he got into trouble sometimes. Since the kid loved to run, Mom and Dad once called them their little "s_tar runner_".

Dad was always proud of me, getting straight A's in school and being in the football team like he had been when he was younger. But Soda was different, sure he had a lot of friends at school, but Mom and Dad never paid him too much attention. Soda was always fascinated with cars, but when dad would go fix some, he'd never say anything or really help out. Dad usually asked me to help him, and Soda would just watch. To be honest I never really enjoyed fixing cars all that much, but it made Dad happy and I did actually understand pretty easily.

I remember that Soda would always just smile at us, his family...

* * *

The house finally settled down and the uneasiness was put to rest. Bight moonlight pierced the majority of the thin clouds beneath. The soft pitter-patter of the rain was comforting me as I shuffled into bed with my consciousness waning. The door creaked open.

"Soda? Is that you?" a silhouette entered the room, with no answer. I reached out my right hand to the side and turned on the lamp. The light revealed it was my little brother after all. I got up and sat on my bed; he did the same.

"Soda, are you okay, man?" Mom and Soda got into a real big argument after he and Dad came home. Normally Soda wouldn't argue back at Mom, but it was different this time. I know Mom really cares about him, but she sometimes has a hard time showing it. Dad tried to stop it, but things only got worse, in the end Mom said something to Soda that hit him real hard...

"Darry...can ya help me?" he held a text book in his hands. His eyes avoided mine, out of the family, Soda would be the one to always smile and had time to make a joke in the bleakest of moments, even more so than Dad did. When I'd talk to his friends, they always described him the same way. But they did mention that he rarely ever talked about his family.

Maybe he felt like he was barely a part of our family. At the age of twelve was when he started hanging out with his friends much more often, only Pony was bothered by this. I didn't have a lot time to notice, actually.

"What do ya need help with?" I asked curiously.

"Uh, I got a test on Algebra, tomorrow."

"Okay then."

But before we started, I had to ask him,"Is something bothering you?"

He looked at me with those bright eyes of his,"Huh? Oh, um no," his voice lacked conviction.

"Soda, what did Mom say?"

He glared at me, but tried to retract it quickly. "She didn't say anything, Darry," he said trying to reassure me.

"Soda-"

"Shut up, Darry! Can't you just leave that alone? You're just like Mom!"

"What's that s'posed to mean?" I hollered out indignantly. Maybe Mom wasn't being as nice as she was trying to be, but Soda had no right to say something like that. And me, just like Mom? How?

I was seething, and Soda calmed down,"Nothing, Darry. It don't mean nothin'," he stated melancholic, his face darkened underneath his greasy, uncut hair.

"Oh Soda, I didn't mean to..."

"No, it's okay Dare, really." His arm was trembling and his jaw clenched.

Now that I thought about it, I was a lot like Mom. We were both the ones to always check up on him and Pony, when Soda would go out and come home late, I always seemed to support Mom when she'd lecture him.

"Why'd she have to say that?" A single tear escaped his shut eyes. "It's not my fault, I can't help who I am," his voice began to trail off.

Just what did Mom say to him? I thought, reaching out my arm, draped it around his shoulders and pulling him towards me in a hug. He buried his face into my chest, with his hands gripping my shoulders. He quivered as more tears fell. "It's okay, kiddo. It's okay," I said in a hushed voice in an effort to calm him down.

In a few minutes, he just stopped. "Thanks Darry." The lamp showed that even though Soda's face had calmed down by now, his eyes haven't. He sighed and let himself rest on the wall, his hand clutching the top of his head like he had a headache.

"So, Soda, ya want me to help you study?" I wanted to take his mind off Mom right now, even though I knew that the whole point of studying today was so they could be proud of him, for once. So that I could be proud of him for once.

Right before we started, he wiped away his last tear and asked me not to tell Pony about this. We spent hours on studying, even though we weren't far in the school year, I wanted to make sure that Soda would be able to do real well. Eventually, while I was thinking up a bunch of problems for him to complete by himself, he fell asleep.

I decided I didn't want to wake Pony, so I just picked Soda up and set him under the covers.

With a smile on my face, I said,"Goodnight, little buddy."

* * *

Back, then I never understood why he was acting the way he did, nor did I understand why he and Mom would argue sometimes. Though Dad was usually around to stop them, it was almost as if Soda resented us. It wasn't their fault, or Soda's. I'd be pretty steamed if I were him, I never liked it much when Mom and Dad would congratulate me or Pony about doing something well, especially when Soda was around. Normally it was something about us getting good grades, or something about me being in the football team freshman year. He'd just eye sorely at Mom and Dad as he usually stood behind them, wordlessly. Of course no one would notice, except me.

He got a bad grade on a test even though he did real well on it, but the teacher didn't seem to believe he didn't cheat. I know he didn't, he knew what he was doing. I _knew _that for sure.

After Soda drove our car into the neighbor's car, his and Dad's relationship got a lot better. They would go out and drive somewhere for a few hours. But Mom wasn't nearly as supportive, money was already tight before without having to pay for the damage, even though it wasn't even a lot of money. Mom actually assumed that Soda did in fact cheat, and he didn't take it so well.

So I brought it to myself to tell her that I knew Sodapop didn't cheat at all. We studied together all night, after all. She felt real awful about it so she tried apologizing to him, but for a while, Soda would just ignore Mom.

He started to hang out with friends a lot in middle school. As time passed on, a few weeks before the car incident, he stayed away from home longer and longer. One time, I actually hollered at him for coming home so late when Mom and Dad weren't here. He didn't seem to actually listen to me, and after I finished he just responded with a stark, grim face saying, "C'mon Dare, it wasn't like actually anyone cared that I was gone."

I wanted to tell him that it wasn't true, but I never got the chance since he just shuffled back into his and Pony's room. And it wasn't true, Pony was awful worried he was gone, but he was asleep by now.

…And so was I.

* * *

When I first met Soda's best friend, I really didn't like him. I thought he was cocky, hot-headed, and obnoxious. Sometimes he'd join Soda and me with some other guys at the neighborhood like Donald for some football. He and Soda would always be on the same team, but Steve was rough and could tackle real well too.

Steve probably knew I didn't like him either; usually he was smart enough to keep quiet when I was around, but sometimes he'd say a few things me. I ended up punching him a couple times, but he didn't seem to hold it against me so much.

The first time me and Steve really got into a fight was when Soda invited him into our house. Dad liked him a lot because Steve knew a lot about cars, and Mom didn't seem to mind it so much at all. I really hated Steve then, he made Pony cry once, which earned him right hook to the jaw from me. And he also got Soda into smoking. Now I'm not gonna lie and say I've never tried it, because I have and I did enjoy it, but I knew it wasn't healthy. So I stayed away from it. And besides, Mom would have blown a gasket if she ever found out.

Soda probably felt like Mom and Dad didn't appreciate him so much. And sure, a lot of kids in around our neighborhood smoked a lot, but maybe if he knew just how much they loved him, then maybe he wouldn't have made friends with Steve, or started smoking back then.

But Mom always seemed real cautious around Steve. She actually never trusted Steve all that much, and neither did I.

Ironically, was when Steve was arrested and sent to jail, that was when I knew that I could always trust this guy.

* * *

Mom and Soda fighting reminding me of when me and Pony would fight all the time, leaving Soda in the middle. After Steve was arrested, Mom and Soda's relationship got a lot better over time. Mom and Dad both were overjoyed when a fifteen-year-old Sodapop got himself a job working at the DX nearby. And they also supported his decision to drop out of High School, a few months before they died...

I didn't want there to be so much fighting in our house, this time it'd be Soda and Allen hollering off at each other all the time. I wanted them to get along, but they're both too stubborn to apologize to each other. This time around, I didn't want to force it so much because I don't want the anything like Pony running away to happen. Pony also tried to stay out of their fights. Once when they did fight, I could see the torn look in my youngest brother's eyes.

I've been trying to be a better, big brother to all of them, but at this point I'm not even sure what do anymore. I really doubt I can trust them to work things out by themselves, but they won't listen to me.

_I wonder what Mom and Dad would do._

_..._

In the living room, I was still reading the newspaper, trying to relax a little. I heard footsteps, pass me by. They were headed out the door.

"Soda? Where ya goin'?"

He looked back almost as if he hadn't noticed me sooner. "Huh? Oh, don't worry 'bout it, Dare. I'll be fine, m'kay?"

"...Be back in the morning, will ya?"

He tried grinning at me but faltered, "Sure, Dare."

With that, he left, closing the door taking the car...


	6. Chapter 6 : The Fragmented

**Nothing But A Blood Stain**

**Chapter Six**

**The Fragmented**

_All rights to the Outsiders go to S.E. Hinton, I own nothing!_

* * *

Beams of light bled seamlessly through the ill-cleaned window blinds - shattering my brittle unconsciousness. I awoke dazed and disoriented with my brain smarting something real awful. It took a slight pause to catch myself before my sight resumed it's natural clarity.

_What happened last night? _I couldn't help but wonder to myself. Inside, it felt like my mind was storming and my memory remained faded at best, in regards to the past few days, or weeks. Still, however, I had the sinking feeling that it would've been best that I'd forget anyways, so I payed little mind to it.

I slowly emerged out of bed, almost wondering how I ended up there, but I soon found myself apathetically dismissing the slightest of concerns. My loose, white shirt was completely plastered on my back and a bitter, yet all too familiar taste left in my mouth - and with that half my questions had just been resolved...

My legs staggered as I managed to stand up at full height without falling flat on my face. A tingly feeling was sustained in my back and the pain in my head made walking no easier. Soon enough I stumbled on my own two feet, but I didn't fall, managing to use the wall for support. My breathing was deep, slow, and hollow.

I reached over, pulling myself in front of a dusty mirror that had a few cracks on it that displayed an almost impaired echo of what stood before it. My hair had now grown elongated and thin like the webs of a spider; which now dangled over my eyes, stifling its greenish, ailing glow. My head hanged low from an arched neck, and the hazy and callous look in my eyes paralleled the now festering face of mine.

Soon, my gaze averted and then centered over to the clock, which said that it was 9:51 a.m. Although at this point, it had long been established that I wasn't gonna go anywhere, I still felt awful that I'd miss school. And with no where to go and nothing to do, I fumbled right back into bed.

My eyes lazily scanned the room around me. The dang place was dusty and bland. The walls were probably white at some point, but was now nothing more than dull, gray shade. A small plethora of clothes littered the floor; usually I'd clean it up by now but now just wasn't the time. Funny, I vaguely remember saying the same thing yesterday, and the day before...and the day before that...

Aside from my textbooks, some my of little _brother's _old novels that he used to read, and bunch of other school crap, there really wasn't anything in here save a few pictures that I kept with me before arriving here.

All that was left in them were lingering, earnest laughs I swear I could still here flowing right out of the pictures themselves. They were a reminder of when times were just a little better - a time when I still believed that I had a future.

Most of them featured me upholding empty smiles and hollow eyes, along with a familiar cast of faceless masks I really don't mean anything to me anymore. As of now, they were simply no longer needed - these merely showcased a painful list of fragmented memories.

_Honestly, I'd rather never see them again anyways,_ I thought, lying to myself. I know I was lying, because if that was in fact true, then why do I insist keeping them? Now that I think about it, _all _of them were like that...

Meaningless.

All of them except for a few - _one _in particular...

* * *

_Just a picture, right? Nothing more than that..._

My thoughts were the only sounds in the house as I laid on the sofa, frozen for the longest time. My gaze fixated on a familiar object that I held above me. I looked back at it, with mixed feelings - though there were no tears flowing, thankfully. I vividly remember that day, and right now it was then put on an endless replay in my head.

I had done this a few times since I had come to my _brothers' _home - sit around alone while I merrily reminisce about what was, what could've been, and what should have been. But only when no one was around to see and when I didn't really have anything to do.

There was me and a girl in the picture - together and grinning widely with her arms wrapped around my shoulders. That picture was taken many months ago. Back then, her curly dark brown hair went longer than shoulder length and her bangs were pushed off to the side so they wouldn't cover her eyes. They were of a bright green color, but the picture couldn't give you that information. She had a narrow, delicate face, and she let her head rest on mine for support.

The photo itself captured one of the happiest times of my life. Ever since that day, I always kept it with me for good luck. I mused wondering how red our faces must have been. After all, that was the day I...

I thought back words that she had said to me a just few times - the three words that I just can't bear to say. I think I've only said them to her twice in my life. I wish had done so more when I still had the chance, when those words still held relevance coming out from my mouth. That way, maybe she'd know how I feel about her.

With a heavy heart, and a quivering hand, I sighed deeply and simply resumed. I wasn't too sure how long it had been.

The door had busted open just then, and when I had just glanced at the clock, it was already read about 5 p.m. by then. Which quite astonished me as it felt like time passed slower with each painful second.

"Hey Curtises!" a jubilant man had hollered out to no one really. He was accompanied by his friend, Steve and my little _brother_ who was sweating bullets for some reason.

"Nobody's home!" I yelled back at the man. I looked back at my _brother _whose deep and slightly slow breathing did not match his slightly reddened face and the sweat drops running down his face.

"You okay?" I asked with a modest amount of interest showing

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just finished a track meet," he stopped there, I had a pretty good idea where this was going, and I'm sure he did too.

"Ya' could've came, Allen," an indignant Steve finally added. Though he was right, there was no denying that. I had nothing to do, I may as well have come...I wish I did.

"Sorry Ponyboy, " I kept my voice barely audible, just loud enough for everyone to hear my words. Steve shot me a look of incredulity, that only served to fluster me even more. But now that I think about it, was I really sorry? I don't think I was...

"Lazy ass," I heard Steve snarl at me, but Pony didn't seem to notice.

"It's okay, Allen..." he muttered, trying to avert my gaze. I don't think it was okay at all, but I knew that he would probably be the one say that to me.

"Where's Darrel and Soda?" my voice came out incurious.

"Damn. Can't you use that head of your's, Allen? Obviously the two are at work. Do you think they'd ever miss Pony's track meets if they had the choice to come whenever they want? Huh?" Steve's facial expression was unchanged on all of this - still bitter. However, the same wasn't true for mine at all. My little_brother _also glared at Steve. Somehow, I knew Steve didn't enjoy being there for Pony.

"I'd guess not, " I didn't really want to say anymore to him. I had no intention of starting something with Steve even though it seem's like he'll do anything to get me in some sort of trouble.

"Of course..."

I'm tired.

If I weren't so out of it right now, then I would've taken the picture and hidden it in my pocket. But before I could, it was snatched from my hands.

"Who's this?" an amused Two-Bit asked grinning, not hesitating to show the picture to his buddy. Both my little _brother_ and Steve took an immediate interest in the picture. I got up and endeavored to take it back from them but failed at multiple attempts. I guess I hadn't fully recovered yet.

"She's hot." Two-Bit spoke out with no regard to how I'd react, even if they didn't know who she really was. I scowled towards all of them.

"Is that...Allen?" Pony said in a such a low voice that I barely heard, although Steve and Two-Bit didn't seem to notice. I glanced over to my _brother_ whose face was so perplexed and contorted, how could it _not _bother me?

"Damn Allen, how'd you manage to score a gal like that?" Steve painted himself a mischievous and maligned grin.

_What's that supposed to mean? _I gave him a confused, if not, annoyed look.

"Don't be too surprised now, Stevie. Honestly, I was really beginning to wonder if y'all were even related at all." Two-Bit cheerfully added, obviously referring to Sodapop's reputation.

_Is he...impressed? At me?_

Steve's gaze shuffled before settling at the wall, irked at something. "What the hell did she see in you?"

"What makes you think she's my girlfriend?" I muttered the words quietly.

"She ain't? You mean ya' didn't fuck her?"

"No!" I seethed. My ears felt hot and cheeks began to grow red and Two-Bit tried to hide a grin.

"Ah well, figures," Steve replied in a disappointed tone, shrugging at the same time.

Two-Bit was still staring at the picture - smiling - and placing a finger over a portion of it. I'll bet his thumb was covering my face, or something."I thought you only went after blondes, Two-Bit." I looked over to my little _brother_, he seemed like he was trying awful hard to keep out of our conversation. I didn't want anything to do with it anymore than he did.

"Well I guess times' a changin' y'all. I bet she's got a nice rack." Somehow I just knew the guy was joking, I sincerely doubt he actually thought anything of her. I know her more than anybody here, and I don't think she would actually go for a girl like Keith. But that didn't stop from getting me pissed off, not by a long shot. I tried to get it back from him again, but he handed it off to Steve who further scrutinized the picture.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up, Two-Bit," Steve commented.

"She looks like a hoe."

...

The next thing I know...My fist collides with the side of the man's face...

* * *

_**Days later...**_

I woke up early today and walked out into the living room. The clock read 6 : 07 a.m.

Sodapop was no where be found, I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. I miss him being around all the time.

Allen and Darry had another fight a few days prior. Needless to say, he didn't handle Darry hollering at him very well. Although he didn't holler back. It seemed like Darry was holding back. If it were me instead of Allen, then Darry would have blown a gasket rather than just give out a lecture like he did with Allen. A lecture they both knew just be wasted breath in the end.

It was true. And the thought about it left a sour expression of my face.

_Why does Darry treat Allen so nice all the time? Like, he goes out all night doing who knows what and Darry barely made a fuss about it. I don't even know if he came home today! Not even Soda could get away with something like that!_

My thoughts were beginning to boil up on the inside, so I sighed heavily, trying to cool my head.

Darry came downstairs, seeing me lying on the couch watching cartoons when school would start soon got him riled up. But it took him a while to really notice me there, I'll bet it's because he's got something else on his mind.

Darry walked up to me and placed his hand firmly on my shoulder. "Hey Pony, you okay?"

I lightly brushed his hand off, "Yeah."

It was a lie and Darry knew it all too well.. "Where's Allen?"

"He ain't here," I spoke with conviction. I had already checked up on my old room. Usually the door was locked so that nobody would be able to come in, but it wasn't this time and I found that now one was there.

Darry also went to check on Sodapop, only to find that he wasn't there either.

"Ponyboy! What is this?" Darry came up to me holding my math homework.

"Uh, my math homework," I looked clueless.

"Why didn't you finish it?" he demanded the answer from me.

"I forgot," it was another lie, but Darry didn't figure that out because that would seem totally believable to anyone who knew me. What really happened was that I tried to finish it, but I fell asleep doing so. I had probably left it on the small desk in my room. Thankfully Sodapop came home and brought me to our bed. The last time I had done so, an acidic pain seemed to have been washed all over my back - it was never a good idea to fall asleep on a chair.

"Ponyboy, you'd better finish this before you get to school, ya'hear?" I followed suit. I don't know why Darry was mad about, I only had a few left.

While I was finishing it up, Darry began to give me a short lecture about doing my homework. I barely listened to him, but I found it much harder to do my homework when someone was over my shoulder and hollering off at me at the same time. I finished it real quick. I gave it to him and made myself comfortable at one of our sofas again.

"What're you doing? Get ready for school, Ponyboy."

"Fine."

I sighed and went to reach a button-up shirt on the floor. It wasn't all that dirty actually, but it looked real nice so it was probably Allen's. I almost started to put it on when Darry said, "Ain't no way you're wearing _that _to school."

He took it from my hands and left to put it in the laundry.

Darry had also gotten upset with Soda too - it was about Allen, of course. Soda refuses to apologize to Allen, so Darry would also tell Allen to apologize but he was just as stubborn as Soda was.

I'm glad that neither of them hasn't asked me to choose a side yet. Of course I should choose Soda, but Allen treats me nicer than he does to Darry and Soda for some reason.

I slowly dragged my feet towards the bathroom, peeled my clothes off, and let the water drown all my troubles away...

_I don't get it...I just don't._

_Allen's my brother, right? Then why doesn't it feel like he is?_

* * *

In school, simply focusing was a troublesome task within itself, let alone doing actual work.

I just felt real awful about the whole thing. Steve and Two-Bit didn't even seem to like him all that much, well of course Steve wouldn't like Allen. Steve probably thought that Allen was like a more annoying me. In know Steve never liked me for tagging along with Soda to places where they both went, but it seemed like Allen hating Soda wasn't any better for Steve. Well, I dunno, I think that Steve's so pissed off because of Soda.

_I miss Soda..._

And it certainly didn't help anyone when Allen punched Steve in the face - even if Steve was asking for it. They fought it out for only a few seconds before Two-Bit broke the fight off, he seemed real mad at Allen. I thought it was weird because Two-Bit and Allen usually got along so well. Allen should have known that Two-Bit was just messing with him, but Steve sure wasn't.

...

I wonder who that girl was in the picture Allen had. When I saw it, I could barely recognize him. The picture was probably taken not too long ago, but he seems so much older now than he did in that picture - his face, that is. Compared to then, Allen's like skin and bone now. Allen used to have a good build, and on that picture, he could _easily _pass off as our brother. His eyes seemed to lack the morbidity they have now, and Allen seemed to be genuinely happy for once... I don't think I've ever seen him _smile _- ever.

_So Allen was once a different person? But what happened after that? What happened to my older brother?_

I wanted to know, but inside, I still found it hard to believe that Allen was even related to us at all.

* * *

Sometimes I get real worried about Allen, especially when I don't see him in school so much. I guess that means he skipped a few of his classes, probably just to avoid me. He may not be a part of the gang, but he's still my brother.

I eventually found Allen in the hallways in between classes. He was talking to two girls. They were definitely Socs, but golly were they pretty. I heard Allen laugh, and the two girls were giggling at something Allen had said earlier.

I stiffened myself up and reluctantly approached Allen. "Hey Allen, can we talk?"

They all heard me, but the two girls just looked at me in disgust and walked away, but not smiling back at Allen and waving at him (although Allen didn't seem to notice). "Bye Allen," they chorused, giggling as they left. I heard them mutter something about me before they left.

"Bye," he waved lightly back at them. Then he turned his attention to me, throwing his arm over my shoulder. "So Pony? What did you want to talk about?" he asked cheerfully. I took a good look back at my older brother, he looked so weird smiling like that... Allen looked so much younger, he actually looked a lot more like me, now that I think about it. His green eyes radiated brightly for once, and his smile was real wide and was so contagious I could help but grin lightly myself.

_Is that really you, Allen? _Even though he got his hair cut short, he seemed so much like Soda...

I tried to speak, but I couldn't find the words. I didn't want to get Allen so frustrated like he does so easily, but it felt awkward enough seeing Allen like this. Before I could speak, Allen asked me, "Hey Pony, do you have any plans today after school?" he asked casually.

"Wha? Oh, um no." I think I lost my train of though.

He chortled at me, "That's great!" He pulled out a folded piece of paper which revealed a list of phone numbers with the corresponding names beside them. I counted off at least 17 of them. The dates were also there, it seemed he was at it for a few weeks now. I never thought about how much friends Allen had. Ever since he left the house after he and Steve fought, he was always away from our house. Just another reason why Darry was so frustrated with Allen, we never knew exactly where he went or when he'd be back.

"Hey, do ya wanna go on a double date with me, Carol, and Joan?" he asked me, eying the two girls that just left, they were way down the hallway, talking to some other friends.

"What? No!" I almost yelled at him, causing him to flinch at me.

His face took on a more concerned look and he asked me a little slowly, "So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" As if he didn't already know, but didn't seem the least bit anxious, just curious.

I sighed refusing to look him in the eyes, "Look Allen, we don't like you leaving the house all the time. We get worried about 'bout, ya know?" I tried to put it out gently.

When I looked back at him, his face was so contorted and etched with scorn. "What the hell're you talkin' about? It's not like any of y'all even give a damn 'bout me, anyways. 'Sides, Darry should jus' fine with that, at least he don't have ta' take care of me so much."

"Allen, don't ya dare say that! I mean, what's with you? Why do always go 'round, runnin' off to who-knows-where? Do you know much Darry worries about you?"

He looked at me with a grim face, not believing my words for a second. He turned away and started to walk off, but I went after him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Allen..." my voice was growing thin as if it were cracking around the edges, "do you know how much I worry about you?"

He sighed, and looked apologetically. "Pony I know y'all had it rough enough without me. I hear Darry's trying to get another job and even though Soda don't like having me around, he still helps pay for me. And I just feel real awful that y'all have to put up with me when I can't do nothin' to help," he spoke apologetically but slowly as if he really didn't want to say much of anything to me.

I was silent, so he went on, "Look, I know all of y'all hate me, and I'd say you've got every damn right to. Things were going just fine without me being around to ruin everything, ain't that right, Pony? And I'm real sorry I can't do anything, I just can't, okay?"

He took another deep sigh. "But people don't ask to be who they are. Ya know what I mean?" his voice grew softer with every word and his eyes looked as if pleading me to answer back.

…

_I don't hate you, Allen._

_I think I don't..._

I guess Allen wasn't as clueless as Steve says he is. But Allen feels like he's being forced into a situation that he didn't ask for, and although wants things to be better, he has absolutely no idea how. And even if he did find a way to help, who's to say that anyone would give him the chance at this point.

I knew what Allen meant by that. I didn't ask to have my parents and best friends die. I didn't ask to be poor, or to be labeled a greaser. I didn't ask to have Soda drop out of high school, nor did I want Darry to drop college just so they could take care of us. They deserved better than that, they all did.

Truth be told, I didn't know what to say. But I did know that Allen wasn't asking for much right now. All he wanted an answer from me, I just couldn't give him one...

He started to clench his jaw and his eyes began to blaze. "Ya know, I'd thought that you of all people would understand that…" He walked briskly, brushing me aside. "I guess not…" he mumbled real quietly, disappointed almost.

I turned back to look at him. At this point, I was so confused. _Just how much did I really know my older brother?_ I thought.

Another Soc walked up to Allen, concerned and he asked Allen, "Hey, do ya know that kid?" He was referring to me, and Allen glanced in my direction uncaringly.

"Nah, just some kid I met," he answered nonchalantly.

…

_Just some kid, huh? _I shot him a rancorous glare. _I guess I really don't know him that much after all. Just who is this stranger, anyways?_

_And you know what Allen? I didn't ask to have a half-brother._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Okay, so there wasn't _TOO _much about Allen's character here but that's because I still want the canon characters (namely the Curtises) to be highly relevant in the story. But the next few chapters will probably focus a lot on Allen.


	7. Chapter 7 : The Detached

**Nothing But A Blood Stain**

**Chapter Seven**

**The Detached**

**Author's Note: **

_I own nothing, all rights to the Outsiders go to S.E. Hinton._

_This chapter was written in 3rd person unlike the way I usually write this story. I'm trying out something new, and I really think it would've been better this way. Okay, so I know I haven't updated in forever, but as you must understand, motivation and inspiration are hard to come by these days. I'm sorry for this being so very short, but oh well, I guess._

* * *

"So, uh, Ponyboy, what was that about, man?" Two-Bit asked with a rather sly look.

"What was what about?" he asked clueless.

"You know, when was talkin' in the hallways an' this cute blond comes out of nowhere and hugs you. What was that all 'bout?" He turned toward the younger teenager with his piqued interested.

Ponyboy's eyes shot up and grew just a little tint of red. "Oh, that!" he exclaimed, and then sighed just a little with a long face. "That was nothing, man. I just found her ring after she lost it and gave it to her friend, and I guess she told her that I found it for her."

"Uh-huh," the man responded, nodding with incredulity. "What's her name?"

"Um, Beth."

"You like her don't you?"

"What? No, Two-Bit, it's not like that," he truthfully insisted. Ponyboy really had no interest in Beth herself, but the hard part was convincing Two-Bit that such was really the case.

He chuckled. "Whatever kid, you keep on tellin' yourself that, m'kay?" He smiled grew real wide. "But, boy howdy won't Soda be proud that his baby brother's finally chasin' after some chicks ain't that right, Ponyboy?"

Ponyboy punched him in the arm. "Ah, shut your trap, man. And it ain't like she'd like me anyways."

"Wow kid, Darry's right for hollerin' off at you all the time for not listenin', 'cause do ya even hear the things people go 'round sayin' 'bout you? "

I stared at him blankly with a highly convoluted and confused expression. He tried his best to ignore that little comment of Two-Bit's referring to Darry and him; Two-Bit knows things are bad at home because of Allen and Sodapop, and Ponyboy just had to get a little worked up about him saying that. "What're you talkin' 'bout, Two-Bit?"

"Ponyboy, a lot kids go 'round talkin' 'bout the whole deal with last year. Some girls, Socs and greasers, even come up to me and ask 'cause they know I was involved with all of that shit, ya know?"

Ponyboy eyed him sorely, "And what exactly do you go 'round tellin' them?"

He smiled with guilt, "Uh, you don't got to know, okay? And 'sides, it depends on who's askin', anyways."

Ponyboy sighed and the thought of the crazy things Two-Bit would say. He wondered if some of the rumors 'bout himself were unintentionally started because of Two-Bit, but decided not to address it. "Well, whatever, man. Jus' don't go 'round tellin' them that I like go beatin' on the Socs all the time, kay?"

"Well…No promises, kiddo," he said laughing hysterically and then grinning at me so wide that even I had to smile and join too.

"Dang it, Two-Bit," he punched Two-Bit's shoulder again with a weak smile on his face.

"Oh well, man. If you're anything like those big brothers of yours, then I'm sure you'll have all them girls wrapped around your fingers soon enough."

"Right," he muttered with apparent disbelief.

...

Soon they reached Ponyboy's house. "So, Two-Bit, where ya headed?" Ponyboy asked as he headed out of Two-Bit's car.

"Uh, mom's comin' home early again, so she asked me to look after my little sister until she comes home."

"Ain't she gettin' a little old for that?"

"Yeah, but the last time Mom came home early, she found Maria with another boy from school," he said smiling real wide as if it were something to be proud of. "She's s'posed to be grounded 'cause of that, but I don't really care. And if I don't look after her, Mom will pretty steamed at me too."

"Oh, when does she come home?"

"By like seven, or something."

"What cha' doing afterward?"

Two-Bit took sometime to think about it, "Uh, I dunno, maybe see a movie or go to some party and get buzzed up."

"Oh, okay." Two-Bit had no idea how hard that hit Ponyboy. "What 'bout Steve, er Soda?"

"I think Steve said he was workin' late so doesn't have to take crap from his dad as much, and Soda...Well, God knows where he's at half the time," he said in an almost pensive tone.

"Why doesn't Steve just stay over, here?" Ponyboy asked, knowing full well just why Steve never stays at their house anymore.

"I dunno," he shrugged, as if he really didn't know.

"Oh well, see ya later, Two-Bit."

"See ya, kid." And with that, Two-Bit drove away, and Ponyboy turned almost disdainfully towards his own home. Ever since a few days prior to, Pony, like the rest of the gang, avoided his house. Though sometimes a random grease would wander in, they don't stay for long, and such events were usually few and far between.

He slowly trudged forward with an almost tormented look on his face. As he opened the door, he ran into someone.

"Oh, Ponyboy..." the barely older man spoke lightly to him, rubbing the back of his head and with his sharp eyes piercing the younger boy.

"Hey, Allen," Ponyboy's voice came off as monotonous. "Where ya headed?" he asked.. Ever since the incident in school, the two had never really reconciled and though they both would like to act as if things were still good between them, Ponyboy wasn't gonna be one to let Allen of the hook anytime soon.

"Um...Just some friend's house, can ya tell Darry I'll home late again?"

"Sure, Allen." They both formed equally awkward smile, but both refused to look each other in the eyes and were so intent on leaving the other that they hadn't even noticed.

"Hey," he said looking a little guilty at his younger brother. "Are you gonna be okay?" Allen asked sincerely worried.

Pony shot him a glare, "Ya, I'll be fine, Allen, really."

Allen flinched at Ponyboy's unexpected response. "Okay then, bye Pone," Allen said, punching Ponyboy in the shoulder and then quickly went off, out of the neighborhood to meet up with whoever. Either way, it really didn't matter to Ponyboy whether or not Allen would ever come back, or at least, Pony'd like to believe that.

...

He got his homework finished, and fruitlessly searched for something interesting to watch on television. And soon enough, he boredom came his way and felt the need to leave the house.

He just finished a book for English class so he nothing with him to read. It was getting awful late and the library was pretty far, so he decided to go see some movies or something. He didn't care, just as long as he wasn't home.

Ponyboy hated being alone, especially now more than ever. Boredom was something that he just couldn't handle so well since the week he spent in Windrixville. Before, he'd zone out every once in a while if no one was around, especially when he was walking to and from home. But it was never such a good idea since a Soc or two could come outta nowhere.

Things have really died down since Johnny and Dally's death, rumbles and gang fights, they just didn't seem to happen so much anymore. Of course, it wasn't to say that all of the tension between the Socs and greasers have completely resolved, not by a long shot. Fights were still around, just not like they were before in terms of intensity and occurrence.

It was nice knowing that their deaths weren't in vain after all. But even though Pony thinks he should be happy about that, he still seems to find himself missing that feeling. When a rushing sensation of anxiety and alertness satiated his entire being within the heat of a fight, driven almost purely by passion and instinct. But most of all:

Excitement.

Before, he'd only fight because he had to, there was no other option left. But now... Things were different, he was different, everyone was different.

This was probably what Pony hated most about being alone now. It really got him thinking, about things he's been avoid for quite some time now.

Recently, he finds himself walking alone to and from places more and more often. Two-Bit knew why, Soda knew why, and even Pony knew the reason for that, but they didn't want to believe. There's no doubt that weeks after the whole incident, things gradually got better and better. But even then, Dally and Johnny being gone drove a wedge between what was left of the gang. In their eyes, no one could replace them.

But then Allen came in all of a sudden...And everything just got worse from then on.

Ponyboy sighed just thinking about it, there was no way around it anymore. _"The gang was drifting apart."_


	8. Chapter 8 : The Derelict

_**Nothing But A Blood Stain**_

_**Chapter Eight**_

_**The Derelict**_

* * *

**Disclaimer and Author's Note:**

**All rights to the Outsiders goes to S.E. Hinton.**

**To avoid any confusion, this chapter takes place after the first half of chapter six, but before the second half (in other words, this came before chapter 7, hence the "Days ago...").**

**Possible warnings for: ~ moderate language ~ minor sexual references ~ multiple original characters ~ out-of-character CC's**

* * *

_Days ago..._

"Allen, I think you'd best leave - _right now_," Two-Bit told him with all traces of humor drained away from him. Allen took a quick glance around him and noticed the slightly considerable damage he and Steve had done to the house. Looking right past Steve's seriously pissed off face, he noticed the torn look plastered on his younger brother's face.

It was obvious to Allen that he had no reason be here and really saw no point in arguing which would only further complicate things out of proportion.

Before he left, he took a look back, wanting to say sorry to Two-Bit and Ponyboy (though definitely not to Steve), but he couldn't bring himself to do so and merely sighed and left the house before wanting to make anything worse everyone else.

...

The footsteps seemed heavy in the streets, with only the barely audible yet haunting shrieks of the wind that were the only things there to keep him company. A thin rainbow of leaves fell about slowly off the multitude of treetops in a slow, graceful fashion, much like a very light snow. The icy breeze, the waning daylight, and festering trees evidently signified the coming end of Autumn and the resurgence of Winter.

Compared to his old neighborhood, the houses were all small in size, though not by a lot, but it was noticeable. Somehow, he found the occasional stain - whether it was of blood or of dirt or otherwise, comforting, all the same. The constant stench of motor oil about and tobacco almost had Allen missing what he's missed back at _home_. But they've grown onto him, actually, perhaps you get used to something when you're around it so much.

Quite a few lawns looked severely uncut and few flowers were sprouting out from them, but any that were, simply began wilting by now, or just seemed out of place amongst a field of thorns. Some of the houses had paint that was chipping away, a few others showed signs of a smothered flame staining the occasional sides of their houses. He took a special notice at some of the windows, they had been shattered, possibly by a stone of sorts.

All of such certainly provided a fairly lucid statement about the people that lived around these parts. But it'd probably make him a hypocrite for thinking so. Allen took a moment and tried to recall how he looked the last time he looked in a mirror.

Allen had on one of his old shirts, at least it was clean and it looked real cool on him. Other than that, his hair finally got cut short again. Barely visible marks stretch out from just beneath the eyes that would reveal his obvious lack of sleep. Though the shallow, green color had yet to fade, the peculiar look in his eyes along with his overall shady persona made it seem like Allen was no better than they were...

_Was he?_

...

Allen had walked through this path so many times, yet never took the time to really look around save the time when he had just arrived. But maybe that's because in every other time, Allen had a place to go. Whether it'd be at the _house_, or some place else, there was always some place for him to go...

But not this time.

* * *

Allen needed to get out - _anywhere but here._

His pace quickened towards the dusty streets as he staggered through the coldness of the impending nightfall.

_Brothers... _he thought with a coat of bitterness painted over his face that grew red with contortion as he balled up his fist until ached incessantly. He lifted his arm benumbed and lightly wiped his left eye, wiping away not a tear, but red droplet that left a faded smear on the side of his finger.

Desperate to take his mind off of things, he stole away heading towards the movies or the bar or anywhere. But it his efforts were in vain, no matter what he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about _them. _Ever since he left, he shoved _them_off the darkest edges of his mind, hoping he'd never have to face _them_ again.

His friends...his _family_...maybe even himself. He wanted nothing to do with it.

He walked by an alley as he was making his way towards the Nightly Double again, unburdened, or so it seemed. He calmed down considerably by now but the bitter taste in his mouth still prevailed.

The streets were calm and quiet, just the way Allen like it, but that wouldn't last for much longer. He was about to pass someone people in front of him. Allen sighed as he decided to jam right hand into his pocket and lower his face so that he would avoid any eye contact.

Right as he passed him by, he called out, "Hey you."

Allen merely stopped and sighed again has he turned his face slightly to see him. It was a tall and well-built man a little older than Allen and seemed a bit familiar. The young man had an old jacket that he wore over his ragged white shirt and a perfectly good, if not, an expensive pair of long slacks that Allen could only surmise were likely to have been stolen.

"Where ya' headed, kid? Y'know it's dangerous 'round these parts."

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Allen rolled his eyes and took special note of the weird looks he was getting.

"Yeah, what's a Soc like you doing here anyway?" the man kept his tone ambiguous.

"Wouldn't you like to know." Allen muttered harshly. "I'm sorry, but I have places to be..." he made off, quickly striding away.

"That's not very nice of you, you know that? What? Are you running away from your mommy, or something?" he stepped up, edging a little closer to Allen.

Allen chuckled lightly. "Wow, I certainly didn't expect getting a lesson in mannerisms, especially not from someone like you."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" he threatened.

Allen just stared blankly at him and shrugged. "Nothin'."

Again, he began to take his leave but the other man grabbed hold of Allen's shoulder and immediately, Allen's head rushed downward as he barely brushed by a speeding fist. Allen swung the back of his arm and managed to jab the greaser with his elbow in the chest simultaneously and escaped his grip.

The greaser jabbed forward but Allen ducked underneath and tackled into him, pushing the both of them into a wall. But the stronger man was able push Allen off quickly. He tried another punch and hit Allen in the face and he fell over. Allen blocked another hit as he quickly got to his feet. He then kneed him in the stomach and punched him down.

With his chest heaving, Allen looked back at the momentarily downed greaser with scowl on his face.

"You're not worth my time," he snarled quietly.

As he got back on his feet, quite easily, at that, the man called out, "Hey, you're not bad, _Allen_."

Allen froze and he eyed him sorely but didn't turn his back just yet. "How do you know who I am?"

He went on, completely ignoring Allen's question, "Then again, I guess I shouldn't expect much less from you huh?"

Knowing he's finally gotten into Allen's head, the man held a very sinister but meek smile as he said the words, "_Ponyboy_always did say you were a _bastard_."

"What?" Allen asked indignantly.

"Take that back," he then demanded.

"Don't act so surprised, Allen. Even _you_ know it's true."

And just like a puppet in the palm of his hands, Allen made a mad dash forward, swing his right hand. The man quickly dodged, Allen's fist collided with the brick wall with such force that it left a small dent in the lining. This caused staggering pain to reverberate through Allen's entire body. But Allen didn't care, nor did it seem like he even felt the pain, he just kept on swinging.

But it only got him up against the wall, being held by his neck and the other man barraging relentlessly at Allen.

For a while he just accepted the pain as his mind nearly swayed into unconsciousness. But Allen, unleashing the last remnants of his strength, socked the man's left cheek, causing Allen to drop. But he quickly got up and again tackled the greaser onto the ground. The both of them collapsed onto the ground and endeavored to get up. But Allen was in much worse condition.

A car, a nice one, at that, just pulled over the drive way. The older man swore under his breath. "See 'round, Allen." With that, he departed from the scene, leaving behind a bruised but fully conscious Allen.

Allen recognized two of the guys that pulled over. "Hey, are you okay?" one of them asked as he helped Allen keep his balance.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Allen insisted, brushing off the guy's hand and started to walk slowly away from them.

"Did you just fight that guy?" another asked.

"What do you think!" Sensing the clear acerbity in Allen's voice, they started to make there way back to the car.

Before he all heading inside, one of them turned back to Allen. "Hey Allen, we're actually headed to a party at the other side of town. Do you wanna come?"

Allen stopped in his tracks. Agreeing with them, the only word that left his mouth was his trademark: "_Whatever._"

...


End file.
